This is perhaps obvious, but it just occurred to me it might be worth pointing out in public that no true happiness is possible unless you tell yourself the truth about who you are and what you want. It is possible–as for example Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life”–to live happily not getting what you want, but it is a fool’s game simply lying to yourself.
Authentic community, in turn, depends on people showing their real selves by being open to the point of vulnerability. It is, I think, a source of profound happiness to discover that having opened yourself, you have been understood and not judged. We are all flawed. It’s in the nature of true friendship to persevere anyway.
A core motto of mine for many, many years has been that I don’t want to live someone else’s life. I want to live my life, make my mistakes, be stupid and intelligent my own way. If I fall on my ass or soar in the heavens, I want it to be because of conscious decisions I made, based on my own perceptions, not second hand opinion or knowledge.
I think it would be accurate to describe me as a non-conformist, but I want to be clear: I don’t object to getting along with others, adhering to social norms and convention, and certainly don’t favor willfully ignoring or flouting them. It is simply that I am always asking the question “why does this rule exist?” in a spirit of scepticism.
As an example of the sort of analysis I do, I think it is obvious that clothing fashion is almost entirely arbitrary. What is high fashion in say, Dakkar, is not going to go over well in Boise. Yet from this observation does not flow any need to demonstrate what is possible by consciously flouting norms, for example by getting a mohawk, or going Goth, or any other of many variants.
In the same spirit, clearly lightning bolts do not rain down on us if we commit evil acts. This does not mean that we should, simply to show what is possible, as is seemingly demanded by many modern artists and radicals.
Always, I look to my organizational criterion: what works for the good in this world? My fashion sense makes little difference either way. My capacity to think might, and in that realm I am quite willing and able to tear down any and all idols.
My difference is on the inside. In the end, in my view, we all must judge ourselves, and as Albert Camus said, judgement day is every day. Choose wisely.