I posted this in response to this article
As I think about it, it seems to me that demonstration shows more than what he intended: is there, in the end, any difference between sex with a machine, and sex with another human being from whom you are withholding yourself emotionally?
No amount of sex can equal love. And when you have sex in lieu of love, you cannot maintain an emotional equilibrium. If you are not moving forwards, you are moving backwards. If you are not moving towards emotional intimacy, you are protecting yourself from vulnerability, which creates emotional gaps at the precise moments when defensiveness ought to least warranted.
One sees these lost women, who have come to view their bodies not as an extension of their selves, their souls, but their sense of self as an extension of their bodies. Only in that world can being penetrated equal any form of love, which here is conflated with hormones and the evolutionarily dictated reproductive urge.
I have said this before, and will again: don’t bother with Freud. Read William James “Principles of Psychology”. It is by far the most clever work on the topic I have read.