I spent some time studying Neuro-Linguistic Programming some years back. I didn’t take any classes, but did like I do and read 10 or so books on it.
One of the lasting insights I took away was the concept of channels, by which is meant the idea that many people, much of the time, are sending signals on multiple channels. An obvious example is a man SAYING to a woman he respects her mind, when it is quite clear to her that what he wants is her body.
There are countless ways to say I love you, both in the sincere way, as in Louis Armstrong’s “how do you do”, and in fake ways, as in a man saying what he needs to to get in a woman’s pants.
Consciously or not, we receive on all channels. Dissonance is how we pick up on insincerity. Lie detection depends entirely on incongruities between a chosen exterior and subconscious signals to the contrary. People that feel no discomfort lying cannot be caught.
When people choose to ignore unconscious requests for help, it causes hurt or anger. When they try to control you, it causes passivity or anger. You feel emotions, but you don’t know why if you lack this concept of channels.
The corrollary to this is that most people also have multiple “parts”, which, too, is a concept I got from NLP. Most people in effect have multiple personalities, all with their own syntax and aims.
As I have argued, I feel that personal growth consists in paring down the number of selves and motives to a point where your personality is fully congruent, then, ultimately, in flux with the universe, with undivided consciousness of joy. This is enlightenment.
Few thoughts. I’m taking notes off my voicemail.