One of my favorite movies is Battle: Los Angeles. It took me some time to convince my kids to watch it, since they are not normally too big on aliens and violence. I pointed out to them several times that the movie is not about aliens, but about courage, duty and honor, which is in my view entirely true.
In one scene a civilian father picks up a gun he is not trained to shoot out of necessity, and gets shot, and later dies. My youngest especially was sad, but I pointed out it was a good death.
This concept of a good death, which I first encountered in “The Last Samurai”, is one with a great deal of value, in my view. First of all, it accepts openly the necessity, the inevitability, of death. Secondly, it implies that as there are different ways to die, there are different ways to live. Do you face what you fear? Will you die on your feet someday, staring down that which is trying to destroy you? Or will it chase you down, and grab you from behind, at a moment beyond your control, and in a way showing you the utter powerlessness and cowardice with which you have chosen to live your life?
Based upon the evidence I have shown them, which is copious and readily available in the public sphere, I have I believe convinced both of my children that there is no need to fear death. Last week, in discussing the sundry problems facing humanity and the United States in particular, my oldest said “I will be glad when I die and am in heaven”. My response was “how do you know that you did not come here on purpose? How do you know that you were not in heaven watching all the useless suffering on Earth, and decided to come here to help fix things? Wishing to be somewhere else would be foolish if you came here on purpose; and I believe everyone does.”
I truly believe this, and even if I am wrong about how the world works, this belief is in my view still useful.
I have one quote on my refrigerator: “Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again–this is the brave and happy life”. J.E. Buchrose.
I would suggest that any of us would be lucky to die heroically–trying to pull a kid from a fire, defending the innocent or defenseless or otherwise trying to do the right thing–but what we are plainly faced with daily is the opportunity to face down our inner demons.
What did you do with this opportunity today? If you fight this battle often enough, then even a death in bed is a good death.