I think many people who are raised Christian unconsciously conflate the “judgement” of Jesus with the psychological atmosphere surrounding those who spoke to them often and early about Jesus. We read that all sins are forgiven, but we see, as children, that not all sins are forgiven by those who speak of Jesus, and assume in some preconscious, muddled way that Jesus forgives, but only if we are perfectly obedient. Slip just a little, for any reason, and anger is the result.
This idea is ridiculous, even if readily comprehensible for those of us who went through this process. We posit a being of infinite love, who is a part of God Himself, and yet understand Him to be hung up on petty things. Surely, if Jesus is love, then the better part of love is understanding? And surely understanding is the source of forgiveness?
To my mind, no great love is possible without great intelligence, where by intelligence I mean not book knowledge, but the capacity to grasp both what is readily visible, and that which is hidden, often very carefully, and to relate to it, to empathize, to “grok”.