Fulfilling relationships

Everybody wants to be around people who make them feel better.  Even misanthropes and hermits–people I can relate to–want connection; they just fear, based on experience, that people will make them feel worse, which is why solitude is preferred.

Here is my question: are you a fulfilling person?  If you want to be fulfilled, if you want satisfaction, and you are not BRINGING it, then how are you anything but a thief if you are taking it?

I think many people do fall in [a mutually reinforcing narcissism], then  fall out of a [mutually reinforcing narcissism].  Some sing songs about it.  But that is not love.

How can you improve what you bring to the table?  How can you become overflowing with gifts?  If you want satisfaction with others, this is a good, perhaps primary question to ask.

If you have no answers, I will suggest starting the eKumNye program.  Or do a Holotropic Breathwork workshop.  Those are what have worked for me.

Here is what has not worked: Progressive and Autogenic Relaxation (although as I undo emotional knots I am going revisit particularly the Autogenics, which I feel had a great deal of therapeutic potential; I just have not been able to relax enough to get results); yoga; self hypnosis; NLP; Feldenkrais (which has a great deal of merit, I think, but does not strike at the emotional root of things); pilates; martial arts (Ninpo Taijutsu); various workout regimens; self help books; psychotherapy; time in nature; drinking; pot; sex; other forms of meditation, including Zazen and mantra meditation and probably other things I am forgetting.

Nothing helped me as much as Kum Nye and Holotropic Breathwork, both of which started with the insight that you have go through the emotions, to process the emotions of your trauma.  Talking about it does something between nothing and make it worse by making it permanent.  To process, though, you have to have a method.  These are methods.