And even though I am censored on most left-wing websites–I can’t post on Salon, Media Matters, HuffPo, Daily Cause, and probably some others I’ve forgotten–I still see links from time to time to leftwing propaganda, where for instance they are still trotting out the tired theme that conservatives are all racist.
And I sometimes call them on it. Some part of me prefers fighting to living. And I look at them, and wonder how there could be ANY connection between the education I received–which valued reason, and perspective taking, and self restraint, and respectful dialogue and above all an effort at UNDERSTANDING other people and their ideas–and what is on display daily. The hate. The unreflective, reflexive hate.
There is no difference, in my view, between people who hate one group they don’t understand, and other people who hate some other group they don’t understand. It is still hate if KKK members hate blacks they don’t know, don’t talk to, don’t interact with, and know nothing about; and it is still hate if left wingers hate Republicans for their alleged racism–which has no signs, which is not present in any recognizable form–and who hate passionately, and with ZERO desire to understand, to interact with, to learn about people who think differently than them.
As I have said often, there seems to be some part of our organism which craves aggression and violence, and the subterfuge of the Left is perhaps the worst because it claims not to be subterfuge at all. Still, it is not different in principle than Christians who kill in the name of Jesus. They may be doing the right thing, but they can’t do it in the name of Jesus.
Hate is hate. This is a simple enough concept. If you are hating, then you are playing the same role as the people you condemn for hate. If you are a Leftist, you are simply too disconnected with your feelings, too self righteous, too self absorbed, to fully grasp what you are doing; and of course a full and effective propaganda apparatus has been developed around you to protect you from self awareness, until such time as hate and conformity become the only things remaining of value to you. The transition from Sybaritic Leftist to Cultural Sadeist is not all that hard. Resentment is easily fed in a world where you have been taught life is supposed to be easy.
All this for Rosebud.
Here is my actual point. I had to get that rant out first, for my own emotional cleansing.
I get angry. I want to punish people. But what I see is that when I form that connection with others, I have stopped looking up. I have taken my eyes off the highest aims open to me. I enter into a fight of some sort with someone who I will beat, or who will beat me, or who I will wound and/or will wound me and we move on. We make each others lives less pleasant, then go on to the next one.
This cycle never ends, as long as I am looking across at those opposing me, placing myself at their level.
Yes, the bastards cause no end of damage. Yes, they need to be opposed. But practically how often am I effective? Would time spent being angry on the internet not be better spent at dealing with these issues properly once and for all in a book format I can then provide to people to accept or reject as they choose?
And I think more generally about punishment. Socially, you need deterrents, which is what the threat of punishment provides. But I don’t think it is EVER useful to judge people, to see yourself as better, to see them as DESERVING their punishment.
Let us say some psychopath kills someone you love. This would be an unmitigated horror. You would want to see them dead, preferably painfully, if you are typical.
But even if they are caught, even if they are put to death, rage is still an unpleasant companion. So too is hate. And bitterness.
Every so often I get these flickers of light, I get small instantaneous glimpses of a world where I pursue light every day, where I pursue qualitative joy, regardless of the darkness around me. I get glimpses of constantly and consistently being my own best friend, constantly and consistently seeking in a balanced and daily way personal growth, felicity, fun, happiness, creative engagement, and ignoring all the wrong people in the world, ignoring all the countless opportunities for conflict, for punishing those who I feel deserve it precisely to the extent I have abandoned my own best prospects, my own best self.
Now, I want to be clear that I am not advocating simple minded anything. I get angry too at people who say you have to be nice all the time, or compassionate all the time. I think most of the time these people are compulsive, and preachy. They want you to look up to them, and don’t want you to know how many fucked up things are floating around in their heads. Yes, I am a bit of a cynic, but I have come by it honestly. I have trusted many people who have failed me. I tend to distrust anyone who is not an honest sinner. If I can’t see where your self interest is being met, then I assume you have hidden it from yourself, and that wherever it comes out, it will likely be unconscious and destructive.
So kids, this post is all about being a fucking ray of sunshine. I think that was the point I wanted to make. I feel better now.