Fear as precipitate

Everyone carries marks of childhood–and not infrequently adult experience–with them.  Your experience dictates how you move in space.  Everyone has their own posture, or acture, as Feldenkrais called it, which is precisely those modifications your experience compelled on you from normal, relaxed, optimized movement. In point of fact, and to make a brief turn to the negative, in additional to facial recognition, the people who are foolish enough to gladly participate in using the pretext of terrorism to build a perfect authoritarian state are working on gait analysis, so that even if your face is covered or altered, how you WALK can still be identified.  Hiding will become very, very difficult.  I have thought about this: even if you walk differently, use molds to change your face, and wear sunglasses, the technology will evolve to where, if they can identify everyone BUT you, then you stand out for that reason alone.  It is my considered view that a huge part of the value of “anti-terrorism” is that the EXACT same tools that can be used against people who are overwhelmingly not trying to attack us, can be used to build a perfect Orwellian state.  There will be no escape but death.

So, with that happy thought, not entirely irrelevant, it occurs to me that we all have a mix of emotions that can best be viewed as a solution.  They are dissolved in our everyday experience, and combine in ways which are constant and hard to see and define.  Fear, for example, can be inferred as much by what you feel, as in what you choose not to see. Its presence can be inferred by negative hallucinations, where people fail to see what is right in front of them.  Such a person may otherwise seem fear-free, but they are not.

A principle task in spiritual/emotional growth is isolating through precipitation those emotions which are not desired, which impede open and happy expression.  In my case, I have found that a primal fear underlies my tendencies towards anger, depression, and anxiety, all of which spring from a common root.

In my last post, what I was describing, I realize, is a precipitate of fear.  This is an unambiguously good thing, from a personal growth perspective.  I have isolated and concentrated it, and I can now deal with it on its own terms.  I have some terrible nights, but have noticed the past few days I have been quite calm during the day.

This whole process is as difficult as an analogous chemical reaction, but it is needed.  Alchemy was held in mystical reverence for a reason.