Why should it be easier?

This is a really useful question I have been using lately.  When my computer crashes, it reminds me of all the things I can control, like software updates, investing in new hardware.  When I forget my password, it reminds me that I have the ability to write my passwords down.  When someone cuts me off in traffic, or acts like an idiot, it reminds me that self driving machines–auto-mobiles–are and remain a miracle, and that whatever minor inconveniences I may suffer, they are suffered in a place I control, which is climate controlled, and where I have many books and much music I can listen to at the touch of a button.

If it is a person, ask yourself how you contributed to the situation.  Usually you will find you did.  You thought they ought to understand; you thought they ought to have known better; you thought they should have reacted differently.  But if you are honest, you will realize that you did not use skills you had, out of laziness or complacency.  Or ignorance: the corrective is study.  I know how to deal with people, but I don’t always follow the rules I know.  I think it ought to be easier.  I shouldn’t have to treat them as if they are imbeciles, or lacking in balls, or constantly looking for a new pissing contest.  But many people are.  Why should it be easier?  It is what it is, and I betray my own childishness in pretending otherwise. If I am failing to control what I can control, then I have no right to whine, and even if I am, it remains what it is, so I can ALWAYS control my reaction.  None of us are truly helpless, even in the worst situations.

Literally every problem I have, or think I have, submits to this question.  It is clarifying, purifying.  The next time something or someone pisses you off, try it.