I feel that compulsive thoughts are like a tendril from something alive, living under the water, which produces a form when it breaks the surface, when it passes from the realm of feeling and sensation to our conscious awareness. What is interesting is to live with thoughts before they are thoughts, to feel them, touch them, get to know them.
You can look at them and say “this will be a thought of worry”. “This will be a thought of disgust and fear”. “This will be a happy thought”. And of course, I am thinking here. Thoughts can in turn be used to look into the water. This, too, is normal.
We are sensate beings, which means who we are is what we feel. The effort to live solely in the mind is an effort to distance ones true self from this truth.
I am thinking aloud. Here is an interesting way to choose to alter your consciousness: get a lacrosse ball, and a foam roller, and a timer. I like Gymboss. Set the timer to 3:03 minutes, and follow this routine. Put on some music which is pleasant for you.
Roll your traps–the tension muscles, which everyone instinctively massages first–with the ball by putting it on the space between your neck and shoulders and leaning against a wall, about the level of your chest. Roll one side for 3 minutes. Move it around, forward and back, side to side. Lean in hard, at times, then move our head gently to the left and right. You will feel a stretch, in all likelihood (although of course I am very tight since my traps are huge). Do the other side.
Spend another 3 minutes massaging both of your shoulders with the ball, without forgetting the front.
Spend 3 minutes massaging your chest, again with the ball.
Roll your lats on the foam roller, by laying on it with your lats on the surface, and slowly moving forward and back, and side to side.
Lie on the roller, and massage your upper and lower back. If you are tight or have a high pain tolerance, put the ball on first one side of your spine, work down, then the other.
Roll your hip flexors on the roller, one at a time. Roll your hips and the top of your butt. Roll the sides of your legs. This usually hurts.
Sit on the lacrosse ball, and find areas of restricted movement and tension in your ass muscles. Put it under your hamstrings at the top and root around.
Stand on the lacrosse ball and massage your feet.
For tight muscles, find a stretch and hold it three minutes. Take your range of motion to where it is restricted, and focus on feeling those muscles. Slowly move back and forth at the range where is restricted. No pain, but opening, asking, inviting, persistently.
What will likely happen if you do this–and I don’t expect anyone to, but who knows?–is that you will feel emotions coming up, particularly when you find a tender spot. Moments from the past will pop instantaneously into your awareness. Go into those feelings too.
This is an interesting process. I do it most days.