I was dreaming in darkness last night. It was not bad. It felt like I am finally getting to see the reality of my own experience clearly. Most all of us tell lies to ourselves all our lives; some of us more than others, and I would be in the some of us.
I think to see darkness clearly is to sense light. I think of Lao Tzu’s “darkness within darkness: the gateway to all mystery.”
And I have been feeling light periodically over the past week or two. I will feel ribbons of purple and orange coursing through the world.
And I feel that our planet–and all matter–floats, like the thinnest foam, within an infinite space. Someone who knew how light it was could lift the whole universe overhead easily.
And energies flow through it like it has no mass at all. Continually. Some energies lift us up, and some push us down. Gravity is the effect of us forgetting how light we really are. Gravity is a state of being, not a law of any sort, at least where we are concerned. We are consciously living matter, in this world.
This is a Turning Point on our planet. As goes America, so goes most of the world. We all know this. We are by far the most powerful nation to ever exist, and when you consider that, it is all the more remarkable that we are so abominably stupid. Could people like Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have been nominated to be President even in this country until this very year? It is astonishing.
I feel back on my own history. I was dreaming, for the manyeth time, of being an academic and of being a soldier. I have long regretted failing to be either. But I felt then, and continue to believe logically now, that both pathways would have led to me abandoning the path I am on.
I live a humble life now. Nothing special. But I am able to focus my energy on figuring out who I am, what life is about, and how we can all make it better. I have no prism or lens I need to use other than what feels intuitively right to me. I have nothing really distracting me. Even the physical labor I do leaves ample mental energy for continual reflection.
I was very proud to be accepted into the University of Chicago, and very proud to have done fine there. Nothing exceptional–there were definitely smarter people there–but I did fine.
My whole life I have been saying “not that, not that”. I have not known the way forward, but have done my best to say no to pathways that I knew were dead ends for me.
This is a surreal time. You have to be dead spiritually not to feel the electricity and dread in the air. There is fear, yes, but hope too. There is change, one way or the other. All of this is medicine for the soul. All of this is energy that, if you internalize it, breathe it in, will change you, will permit you to take your next step in the direction of That.