This morning I woke up worrying about this election, like I usually do, but then the worry just fell away. It was odd. Some part of me thought “I SHOULD be worrying”, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t even some part of me telling some other part of me to be quiet. It was just quiet. Silence. It was good. This is the sort of progress I have been chasing.
If you look for it, there is always some reason to worry. And if you are capable of it, calm is always possible.
There is a story I read that I have always liked that I have probably shared, but not recently, I don’t think. The guy that founded the SEAL’s was named Roy Boehm. He had a lot of crazy stories in his life, and his biography is well worth the read. If you read one SEAL book, read his.
Anyway, he and some Vietnamese SEAL’s (LDDN maybe? That is what is coming to me at the moment) were assaulting an NVA or VC boat that had run aground on the side of a river. Boehn and his comrades ran towards this thing and he ran headlong into something, maybe a tree, maybe the prop of the boat, and he DROPPED like a rock. I don’t know if you have ever ran into something so fast that hit your head that your feet literally kept going and you fell on your back, but I have. More than once, frankly, if I am honest, although I am not proud of my lack of awareness. It’s instantaneous and comical. Anyway, his troops paused a moment to laugh at him, and he said that was one of his proudest moments as a Commander. They were facing imminent death for all they knew, but they were relaxed enough to take a moment to laugh at him and his clumsiness. I have told this story to my kids multiple times. It’s a great story, in my world.
The connection here is that even in life and death situations, shit man, just take it the fuck easy. Nobody beats death in the end, and you miss all the fun parts trying.
I remember in the last election feeling good, then the hurricane blew in, and I had the dream of the headless people. We had a hurricane this year–the first I recall since then–but the energy feels different. I am often wrong, but that is what I feel, not what I think. At its best, feeling is a direct path to what intellect achieves slowly and poorly, but of course at its worst it breeds chaos and death.
I’m listening to Bob Seger tonight. I compare him to Neil Diamond: highly maligned, but highly talented and I don’t give a fuck what people think.
That should conclude Mary’s comments for tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow to say God knows what. I create the space, pay attention to it, and ideas come. It’s how I live my life. And it’s not a bad life.