It seems to me there are only two ways to build genuine self esteem in kids: 1) knowing them and loving them sincerely as they are; and 2) giving them regular opportunities to fail without censure. A chance to fail is also of course a chance to succeed, and self evidently guaranteed successes are not successes at all. Everyone knows this.
You build a sense of safety, then send them “out there” in very small circles when they are young, and as they feel more and more confident the circles get bigger and bigger, until one day they have happy lives of their own, and they love you but don’t need you, even if they know you are always there if something extraordinary should happen.
This is the mindset of freedom, of growth, of personal and moral autonomy. It is the opposite of the grotesqueries seemingly infesting so much of our society. No wonder horror movies are so popular: there is something horrible I how we parent.