I look into my heart, and feel I am a poet, and a thief and a liar. I rarely do exactly what I say I am going to do. I rarely follow my own plans. I spend great amounts of time dreaming and reading, feeling. I rarely show who I am to anyone. I am rarely what I appear to be. I create most of my own problems.
But I feel that the only way any of this will change, paradoxically, is if I accept that that is how I am. You can only change from the middle, and you first have to find the middle. That has been a challenge for me my whole life. I live in a murky ocean, with strong, conflicting currents. That is my natural home.
(LOL): to be suitably maudlin, let me add thundering skies above.