I fought, and I lost.
I stopped fighting, and I won.
Most human conflict begins with internal conflict, and internal conflict cannot be resolved externally. No amount of external violence–physical or emotional–can heal anyone.
How is it possible for someone to hate themselves? It can only happen through splitting, because presumably some other part does not want to be hated, if it is allowed to be honest.
What happens, I feel, is there is a pain which cannot be resolved, and which can only be externalized through violence (with emotional disconnection, as I have said, being a form of violence).
The resolution of the pain happens when you stop trying to fight it, when you throw up the white flag.
There is wisdom here somewhere, even if I am not expressing myself clearly, because these are intuitions I have not fully brought into my brain yet.