I can imagine many, many iterations of how this world may work. We can’t of course trust entirely any texts we read. There is too much fog everywhere.
But what I find it congenial to believe, and what I am going to choose believe, in a fashion a la William James, is that this world is basically benign. Our punishments consist in the main from not realizing higher joys. Even though there is evil, it does not prevail in all realms–there is a heaven, rather there are heavens–and there is an implicit and benign order none of us are clever enough to appreciate or grasp fully, or even in large measure.
There is no great pressure to DO, to make something of this ONE AND ONLY LIFE. Such pressure, in the main, seems to drive people crazy, and away from their natural goodness. Give people enough to eat, and time to enjoy life, and by and large they become healthy happy people on their own, without dogma.
I am going to release the frenzy within me. I am going to quit doubting my own sanity. I will trust myself when all men doubt me, but make allowance for their doubting too.
I am going to start posting my weight daily on here, too. 292 this morning. I am shooting for 240, or probably better 230. I’m a big guy, and will always be a big guy, but I’m carrying much too much fat.
On that note, I drank about 5 Angry Orchards, one bottle of red, and one bottle of port last night. That’s not on any diets. But I woke up feeling good this morning. I need to get to where I can have one or two at the bar, then not stop at the liquor store on the way home because I feel so good. It’s doable. Everything I dream is doable.
I am going to try and be more consciously positive too. I’m obviously a fault finder. A critic. This can be a useful role, but it is an unhappy one, and I am going to try and make the next thirty years my best.