Progress for me continues. I will explain a myth to you.
The Norse and Germanic people believed that their God of War, Tiwaz, or Tyr, for whom Tiw’s Day is named, sacrificed his hand, in effect, to bind the giant wolf Fenrir.
Fenrir represents the wolf-like, carnivorous, appetitive element in human nature. It represents both trauma and war. It was an externalization of the war which Tiwaz was the God of. To tame HIMSELF, he had to lose a part of his personal wholeness, which was perfect in war, but inappropriate in peace.
One has to assume that, before the Norsemen descended on Europe, that they fought extensively among themselves. Binding Fenrir is what allowed them to mount their long boats together, and rape and pillage (both quite literal, for those of you who do not read history) everyone else.
For me, I was reading about Tiwaz last night, since I am thinking about getting a little sculpture to put on my little shrine every Tiw’s Day–since it brings a little mythic into my day–and last night I was dreaming about adopting a giant wild cat. It morphed in my dreams, but it was roughly a 15′ at the shoulder jaguar or puma, that was a bit tame, but always in danger of attacking small children and anything vulnerable.
This is progress. It is an externalization, within my dream, of an anger and a meanness I have been long trying to identify and process. It’s not fully under control–and I’m not sure I ever WANT it completely under control, since it represents a strong natural instinct of self protection and empowerment–but it is now recognizable, distinct, and for itself, whole.