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Maturation

I am realizing this blog is a part of my personal rhythm, part of my beat, and that I have some choices in how I interact with it, in the feeling tones I associate with it.  This is positive.

I am consistently inconsistent.  That is less positive.

The question I logged on to ask is this: in what does maturation, which I would conflate with psychological individuation, consist?

The background is the hellish “The Angels” chapter of Milan Kundera’s “Book of Laughter and Forgetting”, which I personally think was filled with bitter remembrances, even if he in effect told the odd joke.  As he said, the book was about Temina, and she drowned in a river trying to escape a Communistic Lord of the Flies island.

Hitler Youth, Communist Youth, Antifa: all the same emotionally.  They are psychologically infantile and angry.

What makes them different from adults who have bad ideas?  From adults who are neurotic and carry scars across their lifetimes?  Where, to invoke Kundera’s metaphor a bit imprecisely, is the border?

Here is what I will suggest: the process of individuation consists primarily in learning to see with your own eyes.  It consists in taking responsibility for your own experience–not necessarily controlling it, although that is an advanced and highly desirable skill–but in learning to allow the world to speak to you unintermediated by the ideas and feelings of others.

As Kundera notes, you can have sexuality without sex, and sexuality without adulthood or maturation.  Sex and the ability to procreate are certainly not useful metrics.

And to his theme and point, one’s memory and one’s individual hopes are perhaps also factors.

What seems certainly true is that when everyone is saying EXACTLY  the same thing, that childishness is present.  And that childishness leads to anger, and bespeaks anger.  It is a cage people learn to love, but since people are not meant to live in cages, rage roars out regularly.

What a fantastically uncertain time we live in.  It’s horrifying.  But it may yet be amazing.  I guess we just have to [insert cliche].

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Litost

I finished Kundera’s book.  In my own view, it was offered in a spirit of Litost to the supporters of “Progress”, of “Rationality”, and of Meaning as expressed by the Party, and the rape of Czechoslavakia.

Temina is who the book is about.  He says that.  And she drowns, under the watchful and uncaring eyes of the “angels”, who are the embodiment of officially expressed sadism and emotional disconnection.

Angels represent, he says, meaning.  Demons, loss of meaning.  And laughter was invented by the demons in a spirit of mockery.

And we are subjected to an orgy conducted in a spirit of seriousness, of “meaningfulness”, which is disrupted by, in this context, demonic laughter.  A funeral, likewise.  A group of nudists, likewise, with Kundera ending his novel pining for a return to innocence, and basic human emotion undetermined by manias of any sort.

This is only my view, but in opinion Kundera was mocking the very people who praised him, most of whom, looking at the reviews, can be assumed to have been Leftists.  And he wrote in a spirit of bitterness and anger.  He was angry he lost his father, angry his country had lost the capacity for transcendent, meaningful music, and angry that petty sophists and superficial liars had so conquered it that vindictive and psychotic children were its future, and its past gone, erased, vanished, disappeared like Temina under the water, to be replaced by pop stars, by the then equivalent of Beyonce and J.Lo.  No: Lady Gaga, who indeed plays the same role today.

One of the continual surprises in studying the intellectual history of the past century is how often intellectuals are surprised when their “revolutions” go to shit.  Another is how often seemingly decent human beings excuse the inexcusable, as for example in the case of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who was a modest supporter of Fidel Castro, and his rape of Cuba.

One of the characteristic features of Leftists–Progressives, as he calls them–is their lack of self reflection.  As he says, his Progressive “heroes” want to be out front, but not too far, and not in such a way that they can’t count on praise when some new denigration of social norms has been normalized.  One sees this very pattern today in America.  We haven’t quite gotten fully to efforts to normalize pedophilia, bestiality and necrophilia, but they must be on the way.  There is a list that must be traversed.  It has a psychotic logic.

But what they can’t see is when they are themselves mocked.  As he noted, Edwige always heard what she wanted to hear, not what he actually said or meant.  And that suited him fine.  He ends the novel in a group of naked people having an allegedly serious conversation about something close to nothing.  It is almost Seinfeldian.  He is, in my view, mocking them, and if he has little to say to most journalists, as I read, it is because he hates them.

As I say, this novel, which kills its heroine in an unpleasant, even horrific way, was in my view a big Fuck You both to the nation whose leaders betrayed everything good, and to the whole “Angelic” project outright, which of course I have often argued is in fact demonic.  I would in fact quibble with his own distinction, but won’t do so here.

I read he believed in all this–“we have to commit mass murder and gross injustice so that we can celebrate human happiness”–in his youth, and may even have informed on someone who subsequently spent many years in jail.  But I feel sure he was far beyond regret when he wrote all this.

Angels float, do they not?  What was apparently unbearable for him was floating like that, in that way, with those people, unconnected in any human way, so sure of themselves, so dismissive of the weight of history, of place, of what came before.

Floating was done in circles, in happy places, with happy people, not as a result of detaching from Earth in a mob.

Edit: Put another way, he signed on for dancing in circles as a means to flight, and his possibilities for angelic membership were reduced to playing games with demonic children.  Perhaps I am reading into this–I suppose we all insert our own stories into those of others, as he suggests, even while they are telling them–but I feel his frustrated idealism, and his longing to be having silly discussions with drunk poets.  That was something real; or in any event, it is something for which he seems nostalgic, as happens often with expatriates.  I likely speak for many in saying I myself feel like an expatriate in my own country.

He comments on how one of the Ministers fired 143 or so Professors of History.  It seems to me we don’t need to fire ANY in this country.  They stopped doing their work honestly decades ago.  And what they produce is predigested for our shrieking young, who are destined in most cases to never grow up, to never individuate, and to demand to be told what to do across their lives.  It certainly has already started.  I am an exile in time and place, an anachronism, a vestige of a time which was worse in some ways, but improvable.  Where we are headed, further progress will be impossible, and severe, large scale retrogression is certainly what is planned.

I don’t know why I do this to myself, or to you.  I can’t stop it.  But silence is hard for me too.  I circle around, I suppose, for fresh sets of wounds, but administered in different places, making the whole thing tolerable.

 

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Imagine

What it would take to rid your life of plastic.

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Aphoristic Variations

It is good to walk a thousand miles in another person’s shoes, but little use if you have not first walked a thousand in your own.

Two wrongs may not make a right, but the first wrong provides useful context.

If the Abyss is a mirror, what is real lies beyond it.

 

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Book of Laughter and Forgetting

My friends, and my enemies (for if I am asking nothing, I may as well address them too, since change being inevitable, both my friends and enemies may well change places), I float on in a current of shifting winds, buoying me up, heaving me down, pushing me this way, and then that way, and I wonder at it all.  I try to live in time, knowing its sole purpose is changing me into what I am not now, and that its mercy is also its cruelty.

To be master of your fate is to choose your wind and direction, knowing the fickleness of the first, and lacking a fully reliable compass to be sustained in the latter.  You can be master of nothing else.  This is Life.

A quote from this excellent volume:

The first step in liquidating a people, said Hubl, is to erase its memory.  Destroy its books, its culture, its history.  Then have somebody write new books, manufacture a new culture, invent a new history.  Before long the nation will begin to forget what it is and what it was.  The world around it will forget even faster.

And Kundera then asks: “. . .is it true that a nation cannot cross a desert of organized forgetting?”

From Part 6, The Angels, page 159 in my edition.  These comments follow other similar and relevant passages.

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One more comment on statistics

There are perhaps a half dozen red flags in all this COVID bullshit, things which should IMMEDIATELY tell any honest person that we are being manipulated.  We can debate who is organizing the manipulation, and to what precise end–although less freedom is the obvious direction–but not the fact of it.

Albert Camus, in “The Plague”, comments (I won’t excerpt the exact quote) when the plague first hit that none of them really knew how many people died of all causes in an average week, month, or year.  Yet, this is an obvious question, is it not?

As I have been saying over a year, about 2.8 million people die of something in the United States every year, so any death counts connecting to COVID need to be compared to and reconciled with this number.  As I have said on several occasions, if we list deaths “with” COVID–particularly if they are NOT EVEN TESTED, but assumed to be “with” COVID–as COVID related, virtually every old person who dies of old age can be added to the count.  Deaths, were our would-be rulers a bit bolder, could have been a million or more.  They could have floated over 2 million, with even more audacity.  No doubt meetings were held, and the specifics discussed.  In private, of course.  Invitation only, of course.  Plausibility Ueber Alles must have been the rough theme informing the decisions actually made.

But here is the specific point I wanted to make: epidemics are defined as a certain percentage of all deaths.  It’s, I think, 6 or 7 percent of all deaths.  If some transient cause inflates such that it seems to be killing 6%, say, of all people, that is called an epidemic.  If that epidemic is widespread enough geographically, it is called a pandemic.  That is my understanding.

Why, then, are the numbers not being cited as a percentage of the total?  Why?  Because they would be obviously trivial, and all the measures being taken seen as the tyrannical social and political engineering they are patently intended to be.

This “Delta” variant, IF IT EVEN EXISTS, seems to be both more contagious and less lethal.  The death rate “with” COVID may only be 1-2% of all deaths, which scarcely warrants ANY response at all, and the true death rate, calculated honestly, “OF” COVID is most likely some small fraction of 1%, and has been for some time–months at least.

This whole thing reeks of irresponsibility and contempt for ordinary people.  It seemingly assumes the willing or coerced complicity of the thousands of professionals who should be calling bullshit on all this, but who are afraid to speak up, or part of the gravy train.

All this is why I was so happy to see someone speaking of Collective Psychosis.  That is what this is.  No intelligent person with a solid high school education should be buying ANY of this.  It is a monstrosity, a crime against humanity.  It is a crime against intelligence and learning.

 

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Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics, and finally the Faucist Establishment

I am going to  permit myself some topical comments on current political atrocities.

Here, I want to point out that, 1) there is no specific test for the “Delta” Variant, which for all we know is a complete fiction; 2) that the PCR test, which was supposedly abandoned by the CDC as unreliable, and not suitable for the purpose–which is what its inventor had said in 2019–seems to still be the primary testing means, and source of the claim that “cases are on the rise”; and third, that those who have received this spike protein injection ARE NOT BEING TESTED, at least not routinely, which means that OF COURSE those testing positive, being a subset of those being tested period, will be disproportionately those who have chosen not to trust Big Pharma in this global medical experiment.  Under such conditions I could create an apparent pandemic among those wearing green shirts.  If I only tested people in Hoboken I could make it look like the most dangerous city on the planet.

Most people can’t do math, and don’t understand the basics.  Most people abandon common sense when it conflicts with what the people on the TV are telling them.

Please spend 20 minutes and watch that video presentation I posted yesterday.  This induced COVID panic, and following governmental aggressions against an innocent public, is TEXTBOOK Totalitarianism, and patent psychopathology.  I have been calling it madness for well over a year now.  That is what it is.  None of this makes sense.  None of it can be squared with honest science, or Rationality in any form.

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Please share this widely.

This is WELL worth your time. It explains exactly what is going on with this COVID BS, including the waves of fear mongering, and the vast importance placed on social isolation.
 
I am finding some silence, but thought this too good not to share.  It offers perfect clarity not just with regard to the lockdowns, but the constantly shifting and conflicting messages.
In my own personal case, I was subjected to what amounted to totalitarian assault from earliest childhood, and learned to see it and fight it reflexively.  But seeing all this laid out with such clarity is still a comfort.  I am used to being called crazy, and being considered crazy.  I can deal with that.  But it takes energy, and it is a relief hearing from time to time from other sane people.
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Posting

I am going to try, again, to curb this passion for word-ing, for palaverizing.

I am going to try and live with my gentle rain in a better way, a more flower and sunshine producing way.

Sun Tzu wrote long ago that it does not take great eyes to perceive lightning, nor great ears to hear thunder.

We are in a thunderstorm.  Anyone who cannot see what is happening is blind, and nothing I can say could possibly make a difference.

And part of my mourning will be of the hastiness and ruthlessness with which so many people want to overthrow and crap on the good work of many generations of people who came before us.  Many gave their physical lives, and many their spiritual lives–their focus, their life energy, their work–to build what so many now hold in contempt because they lack the context to appreciate its value.

The spirit of the feudal lords and kings and queens and popes and ministers has not been dispelled.  On the contrary: all you have to do is rename it, and the thoughtless consider efforts to reestablish all this to be worthy of their highest efforts, as such work is seen as intrinsically good, and the goals intrinsically worthy.  Most of our best minds at the best universities are trying to return us to the theocratic Middle Ages, but without the romance, and without God.

I have felt the anger.  Now I am going to try and feel the sadness.  God knows I have spent enough time venting and exhorting and explaining and pondering.

These spells never last long, but they may begin lasting longer.  I don’t know.  I honestly don’t know.

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Blessed are those who mourn

for they shall be comforted.

It occurred to me to reread the Sermon on the Mount.  I think all the beginning phrases are riddles.  I am working on several of them, but I think I understand this one.

For myself, my grief has tended to be expressed as anger.  Much of my writing on this blog is motivated by anger.  Yes, I think it is righteous anger.  Yes, I think my views are mostly correct, and certainly defensible.

But no, I am not really expressing goodness here, most of the time.  It may slip through here and there, but most of it is infused with tension I am trying to diffuse.

This is of course a common problem, one which I am likely much less guilty of than most.  I am, at least, very reflective.  I feel what I am doing, even if I don’t, or even can’t, always stop myself.

But the proper response to grief is sadness.  There is such a thing as a happy sadness, an appropriate sadness, a gentle summer rain that on balance feels good and clears the air.

Those who do not allow themselves to feel this sadness, who do not truly mourn, will never be comforted.  It will never end.

And I will append a comment that I think the Sermon on the Mount has obviously been monkeyed with.  Jesus himself was a law breaker, so why would he counsel his disciples and audience to obey all laws without hesitation?  Why was he so worried about divorce?

Throughout the Bible there is signal and there is noise.  There is wisdom, and there is stupidity.  To my mind, it is not helpful trying to see in that text perfection.  As one obvious example, in my understanding the kosher laws about separating meat and milk products (I think it is) comes from a passage that is repeated twice.  Since the Bible, in Jewish eyes, is perfect, long ago Rabbinic scholars concluded that the same words must mean two different things, and the contextual logic led to that specific practice.

That, in any event, is my recollection from a series of lectures on Jewish history I listened to a while back.