Month: December 2018

The Buddha is the biggest enemy of Buddhahood.

I will wonder out loud if the Buddha, were he to return, would not be tempted to tear down the temples dedicated to him, as sloppy, lazy, and ignorant.

If pain is who you are, then as long as you are who you are, you will be in pain.

The Buddha was never a Buddha

We are all geysers, through which the infinite flux and flow of God erupts continuously.

Evil is the effort of a traumatized nervous system to recognize and remember itself.

I think this is very close to the core truth.

Logically, if shame, fear, and anger form a triumvirate which rules those with amygdala dysregulation, aka developmental trauma (or in any event, trauma of some sort), then self forgiveness, as the opposite of shame, as the down regulating of shame, is also an act working to calm fear and anger.  They are Janus, but with three faces.

And even though I am coming to believe neurofeedback is the only way to do this systematically and completely, there is a cognitive element which cannot but help when added to the mix.

Specifically, it seems to me that it useful to believe, and in almost all cases certainly true, that our most fucked up behaviors–our eating to the point of being fat, our inconsistencies, our drinking, pot smoking, overwork, sexual addictions, etc–are all in place because some part of our nervous system thinks they are vitally important to our survival.  They are absolutely necessary.  They cannot be ended or avoided, in the long run.  Our very lives depend on them.

Now, all of us dispute these subliminal claims.  We say “I want to be skinny”, we say “booze is not really my friend”, we say “this much work just isn’t necessary”.  But our insides think they know better.  They always manipulate us back into those addictions.

Anything which calms us, in other words, even for a short time, comes to be seen as the simultaneous event of forgiveness, running and hiding, and fighting well.  It is the aim for which our nervous system thinks it has been triggered to accomplish, and it will accomplish it over and over and over.  It is immune to reason.  It is much more primitive than that, phylogenetically.  We share it with reptiles, or so I understand.

Our very survival depends on our addictions.  This is what our nervous system is telling us.  I really think this is true.  I certainly think it is true in my own case.

Neurofeedback is a sort of magic wand which takes your fear away.  And what I am reading, and what I feel in myself, is that that fear exists in a complex network of associations, which are not just a felt sense of self, but a felt sense of context.

To fully heal, you have to learn to reach for new things, for new reasons.  Addiction was never about survival, but only about feeling survival was possible.  To thrive, you have to go somewhere new.

In the end, the temple that matters is in your soul, in your particular configuration of spirit, mind, emotion, and action.  Physical temples can only serve to remind us to build within, in the best cases by reminding us what has been accomplished by others.

It occurs to me that humility is a gift you give yourself.  It is a freedom.  It allows you to see that when people sling shit at you, they are really aiming elsewhere.  You are just a ghost who happens to be in the way.

It does not mean you cannot react when people attack you.  It simply means you don’t have to.  You are not pushed by pride, which is to say a deep seated sense that your critics–most notably your inner critic–are right. You are not fending off spider webs in the dark.

It is right and appropriate to feel pleasure and satisfaction in work that is well done, but another entirely to place your emotional health in the hands of others by demanding acceptance and recognition.

Most people are idiots.  I say this not to make myself feel superior, but to remember that their voices really don’t matter that much.

First off, I think it is as ludicrous that conservatives are condemning Mattis, as some are, as that the pathetic Leftists are now pretending to value his sage presence and deep wisdom, and to be fully behind war in Syria.  Because, you know, none of them stand any risk of dying, or hearing of the children of anyone they know dying.

Loyalty can admit differences.  You do not spit on someone just because he differs in some small way from someone you say you like more.  This whole process of turning people from heroes to villains overnight is the core process of left wing lunatic regimes populated by GroupThink and general imbecility.  Don’t be an imbecile.

Mattis is Mattis.  He disagrees with Trump, and for all we know he may be right.  I support the President, even as I opposed deploying more than a couple hundred Spec Op VOLUNTEERS to that theater.  We have no strategic interests in Syria.  It is a humanitarian mission, as I see it, to stop the mass rapes, crucifixions, and general murder and mayhem, all of it facilitated by Barack Hussein Obama, when he supplied training, money and arms to people everyone knew at the time were Islamic radicals.  Medicins Sans Frontieres was writing about this in 2012.  I remember it.  I probably blogged on it, and certainly commented on it on the internet.

The war in Syria was created by Obama, or, at least, made vastly more violent, costly, and lengthy than it would have been, if he had not used American resources illegally and covertly to fuck everything up.  We can’t know why, but my best guess is that his relationship with the Saudis was in reality what Trump’s relationship with Russia is in the opium dreams and wet dreams of the Left.

For my part, I didn’t even know “we” were “in” Syria.  I haven’t read shit about that conflict in months.  I haven’t read shit about ISIS in a very long time.  Have you?  Was the same Left that now values that war–which has less than a tenth the strategic importance Vietnam did, if even that–writing about this?  Were they writing about the courage of our troops?  The details of specific battles?  Eulogies for the fallen?  I haven’t seen it.  It seems likely that if Trump wanted it, they opposed it.  Again: these motherfuckers believe nothing.  They can switch their beliefs on a dime.  They are functional nihilists, not good people, not stand up people, not reliable people, not people working for any cause worthier other than the on-going medication of their chronic anxiety through the medicine of politically based anger and rage.

It does seem likely we are fucking the Kurds over, in particular.  If I were Trump, I would allow some proportion of the people serving there to end their enlistments, if they feel strongly, and go back as mercenaries, perhaps with American provided arms and money.  Or we could just send Blackwater, or whatever its current name is, back in there.  There is a moral value in what they are doing, but everyone there needs to be there only and solely because they want to be.  Risking and losing American lives for purposes which do not even approximate meeting the propaganda about “protecting freedom” is cruel and unnecessary.

Our nation is under attack from the southern border.  That is a true crisis, a true place where the “defense of freedom” might actually mean something.  The Democrats want to import and legalize sufficient people who have radically different beliefs that they can win elections forever.  This is treason, and it needs to be opposed both physically at the border, and legally at the ballot box.  Their cheating needs, also, to be punished much more severely than it has to date.  By and large, they have paid no price, even when caught.  There is no downside to doing their best to thwart the will of the voters.  There needs to be.

1. Self Sacrifice
2. Love
3. Being present
4. Useful work

This came to me this morning.  I will explain more, when I figure out the first.

I do want to found something most reasonably called a religion, but one without religiosity.  We are ready, are we not, for something like an open source religion?  A code, to used by all in varying ways, to varying but on balance beneficial ends?

Ideas have bits, but so too do emotions.  It all depends on picking the right bits, then adding motion.  This is the magic of spontaneous alchemy.

Many bits have been chosen over the past few centuries, but never the right ones, and most often the most disastrously wrong ones.

All my work is leading to this.