Month: September 2018

If I had actually been raped, this woman would be pissing me off.   She is a poster child of all the flaky bullshit that causes women not to be believed.  She was, according to the yearbook of her rich girl prep school, attending parties often and getting drunk at them.  She can’t remember where or when Kavanaugh supposedly attacked her.

And on her account, she was not even raped.  She was not disrobed.  She was held down for a time, then released.

It seems most likely to me that something LIKE what she describes did happen, but it wasn’t Kavanaugh.

The posturing the Democrats are doing is, to my mind, completely amoral and cynical.  It is OBVIOUS that these charges, even if they had merit, cannot be investigated.  No witnesses have come forward, and the people she claims were there have specifically said they remember nothing.  65 women who know Kavanaugh have come forward saying he is a good guy.

So you have on the one side a woman who is flaky as shit, can’t remember shit, who wore a pussy hat to the anti-Trump march, who is represented by a Soros connected attorney, doing everything she can to prevent Kavanaugh being seated before the next Supreme Court session, which starts October 1st.

On the other, you have a guy who was vetted thoroughly by the FBI, who was questioned extensively by the Senate, and whose sole blemish is being cast by this woman.

If it is true she is getting death threats–and keep in mind, made-up attacks by Trump supporters have been a mainstay of left wing lunatics since before he was elected–it is small wonder.  It is indefensible, to be clear, but that her aim here is to subvert the will of the people who elected Trump is obvious enough.

Throwing mud, lying, obstructing: these things piss people off.

I really hope Grassley calls BS on this whole thing, and just has the vote on Monday.  Let’s let this shitshow end.  In a week, the Democrats and their media monkeys will have moved on to some other purported atrocity.

I spent some time with a bunch of therapists a month or two ago.  The details I will reveal, maybe, when I feel like it.  I think I was the only identified patient in the group.

And most of them were superficially likable.  They would say things like “we care”, or “we got your back”, but I felt a pervasive undercurrent of unprocessed anxiety and in some cases anger.

Us trauma folks are hypersensitive.  I don’t miss much when I am paying attention.

And it struck me to consider what a typical psychotherapist does all day.  They sit in an office, and people come to them for advice.  They sit in a place, in other words, of social power, power which is unchallenged in a typical day.  Therapists might disagree with one another, in group practices, but the fundamental need they all have to be in charge, and being paid to tell other people how to live their lives, is unchallenged and latent.

My goal continues to be to create something which works better.  I have hurdles, troubles, and work to do.  I did an I Ching reading which rang true because it said “you’ll get there eventually, but you will pay your dues, motherfucker.”

But I’ve lived in this system.  I’ve seen it up close.  And my honest opinion is that priests do Catholics more good than most therapists.  Rabbis for Jews, and preachers for Protestants.  Because they teach faith, and faith is the beginning of everything.

Consider this: if you went to fifteen therapists with the same complaint, how many treatment approaches do you think you would get?  Is that the mark of a mature science?

You cannot pacify feigned outrage by taking it seriously.

Corollary: it is both possible and common for Rrpublicans to piss off their base by trying to appease Democrats, but in the modern era unheard of for it to make the slightest bit of difference.

There was a time the parties played “one for you, one for me.” But since at least Obama the game has been “one for me and who the fuck are you?”

My feeling is Grassley gives this chick one last shot at testifying Monday, then closes the door.  IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT HE DOES: outrage–feigned outage–will be the result. We might as well cut to the chase. There will be screaming and howling no matter what.

Most the time, when I am driven to offer advice, I think it is in the context of asserting an advantage.  Most of the time, I think, for most people, advice giving is a way of creating a relative power advantage.

Now, as the Taoists teach, the teacher is the one from whom information is passing, and the student the one TO whom it is passing.  It is not always obvious, though, which is which.

This is why you should never, ever listen to anyone giving advice.  I must insist on this.

Once started, the Beat movement had a momentum of its own and a world-wide impact. In fact, the intelligent conservatives in America saw this as a serious threat to their position long before the Beat writers saw it themselves.  A much more serious threat, say, than the Communist Party.  The Beat literary movement came at exactly the right time and said something that millions of people of all nationalities all over the world were waiting to hear.  You can’t tell anybody anything he doesn’t know already.  The alienation, the restlessness, the dissatisfaction were already there waiting when Kerouac pointed out the road.

Artists to my mind are the real architects of change, and not political legislators, who implement change after the fact.  Art exerts a profound influence on the style of life, the mode, range, and direction of perception.  Art tells us what we know and don’t know that we know. Certainly On the Road performed that function in 1957 to an extraordinary extent.  There’s no doubt we’re living in a freer America as a result of the Beat literary movement, which is an important part of the larger picture of cultural and political change in this country during the last forty years, when a four letter word couldn’t appear on the printed page, and minority rights were ridiculous. (xxxi, Beat Reader)

From letters Burroughs sent to his friend and fellow pedophile, Allan Ginsberg, about his travels in South America seeking out, and finding, a drug called Yage, which I believe to be the same as Ayahuasca:

On the boat I talked to a man who knows the Ecuador jungle like his own prick.  It seems jungle traders periodically raid the Auca (a tribe of hostile Indians) and carry off women they keep penned up for purposes of sex.  Sounds interesting.  Maybe I could capture an Auca boy. 

I have precise instructions for Auca raiding.  It’s quite simple.  You cover both exits of Auca house and shoot everybody you don’t wanna fuck. . .

The boat gave out with a broken propeller at Las Playas halfway between Manta and Guayaquil.  I rode ashore on a balsa raft.  Arrested on the beach suspect to have floated up from Peru on the Humboldt current with a young boy and a tooth brush (I travel light, only the essentials) so we are hauled before an old dried up fuck, with a withered face of cancerous control.  The kid with me don’t have paper one.  . . .[he himself leaves it ambiguous if the kid was actually with him, but does not explain what the connection might be, if not.]

Three paragraphs later:

Ecuador is really on the skids.  Let Peru take over and civilize the place so a man can score for the amenities.  I never yet lay a boy in Ecuador and you can’t buy any form of junk.

From Naked Lunch, a semi-autobiographical novel written while under the influence of a number of drugs, and assembled by Allan Ginsberg, and with a title suggested by Jack Kerouac.  This is him, as a drug dealer and user, contemplating getting caught:

And if my kid customers ever hit the stand: “he force me to commit all kinda awful sex acts in return for junk” I could kiss the street good-bye. 

And:

Into the Interior: a vast subdivision, antennae of television to the meaningless sky.  In lifeproof houses they hover over the young, sop up a little of what they shut out.  Only the young bring anything in, and they are not young long. 

Biographically, Burroughs son died of severe alcoholism brought on, seemingly, by both his emotional coldness, and by the fact that one of his friends molested him when he was 14, in Tangiers.

Burroughs last public appearance was on the U2 video, “Last Night on Earth“.  He is on the other side of the light, at the end, opposing all the men with guns.  His face is the last picture in the video.

Ask yourself: what has been wrought, and who wrought it?  And why, to what purpose, if any?

There are a lot of things we laugh about, which we really should not laugh about, but about which we otherwise don’t know what to do.  For example, the meme that “we used to worry about Big Brother listening in.  Now we ask Big Brother for cupcake recipes.”  Ponder how many Echoes and Alexas out there are hearing EVERYTHING.

But on this specific topic, I will connect it to some reading/watching I am doing about an alleged “secret space program”.  Now, this is wacky stuff, filled with people incapable of performing basic logical operations.  I wanted to like Ancient Aliens, but you see statements like “Aliens must have lived in buildings, and many early humans lived in buildings too.  Ancient astronaut theorists speculate aliens must have taught early humans how to put roofs over their heads.”

That is all much too much.  The series I am watching–Deep Space on Gaia–has similar non sequiturs.  They do, however, also include some things I find truly interesting.  For example, what they call Zero Point Torsion Fields (in any event, torsion fields, to which I have added Zero Point) are quite similar to the dream I had of space “helicopters”  Helicopters create vortexes of air which they use for propulsion.  The idea here is simply that you have props consisting in energetic currents which interact with the Zero Point energy quantum physics stipulates is everywhere.  If it exists, it can be touched, and if it can be touched it can be used.

Putting it all together, and bringing it back on topic, many of these people speculate about a “break away civilization”.  Maybe they are building vast cities underground.  Maybe on the moon, using classified technology.

But would 8.5 TRILLION, with a T, be enough to do all that?  Categorically.  Ponder that number for a moment.  Take an average European nation, say Sweden.  Their GDP in 2017 was 538 Billion in US dollars.  This comprised the entirety of their business output, all the buildings and roads built, merchandise exchanged, everything.  8.5 trillion represents just under 16 years of that.

And to be clear, I am not talking about the money spent by the government.  I am talking the WHOLE ECONOMY.

Put another way, the Federal budget seems to be about $4 trillion a year, which is as high as it has ever been.  The amount of money which the DoD alone cannot account for is equal to 2 and a half years of EVERYTHING the Federal government spends money on.  All the military, all the Social Security, all the money spent servicing the debt.

And as the Yahoo article states, the DoD has, uniquely, never been subjected to an audit.

Do you not think it odd that there have been no serious calls for this?  That 2 entire years of budgets can just be vanished, and nobody, no Congressperson, no President, asks WTF?

I’m not a high trust person.  It seems likely to me that at least very large underground bases have been built, with underground train connections.  I have seen these in my dreams.  I once saw some old, tired aliens on the moon, flying technology they no longer understood, and could no longer build.  But that is the limit of what I have seen.

When you are talking those amounts of money though–and I will note this is the DoD ALONE, and that black budgets could quite easily be attached to other entities, like NASA–it is not unreasonable to suppose there is some very large back story. And the missing amount was from 1996 to the present.  This does not even include what was diverted or went missing during the Cold War, when expenditures, relatively, were much higher.

Financially, the money clearly exists to build a “break away civilization”.  I am watching these things, yelling at my computer from time to time, and being genuinely intrigued in others.

Here are some truly interesting quotes, from someone who clearly existed within the mainstream (Lockhead Martin), Ben Rich:

“We already have the means to travel among the stars, but these technologies are locked up in black projects, and it would take an act of God to ever get them out to benefit humanity. Anything you can imagine, we already know how to do.”

Further:

 “We now have the technology to take ET home. No, it won’t take someone’s lifetime to do it. There is an error in the equations. We know what it is. We now have the capability to travel to the stars. First, you have to understand that we will not get to the stars using chemical propulsion. Second, we have to devise a new propulsion technology. What we have to do is find out where Einstein went wrong.”

When Rich was asked how UFO propulsion worked, he said, “Let me ask you. How does ESP work?”The questioner responded with, “All points in time and space are connected?” Rich then said, “That’s how it works!” 

And this:

It was Ben Rich’s opinion that the public should not be told [about UFOs and extraterrestrials] . He believed they could not handle the truth — ever. Only in the last months of his decline did he begin to feel that the “international corporate board of directors” dealing with the “Subject” could represent a bigger problem to citizens’ personal freedoms under the United States Constitution than the presence of off-world visitors themselves.”

Actually, I will add this, which you may not know about.  I can’t remember if I decided to post it.  I look at a lot of things which I just can’t bring myself to comment on.  I just don’t know.  It is impossible to know.  But this is highly interesting, even if one posits odd psychological reasons for it.  But really, does this seem plausible as a hoax, or does he seem delusional?  Form your own judgment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA3HV_gfq80

Again, I underscore that oceans of money have gone missing.  I will offer one last comparison: about $1 trillion per year is allocated annually for “social programs”, for the social safety net, per year in the United States.  Based on the amount of money missing, we could increase that amount 50% and it would last 17 years.

Something is going on.  I think if Trump REALLY wants to set off every warning bell possible, getting someone tasked with getting to the bottom of all this is the best way to do it.  In the interim, an audit of the Pentagon should be done.

It’s not hard for me to remember why I drink.  Nearly all nights are difficult, some are unbelievable.  I have the traumatic residue, but I am also highly intuitive, and I feel the world around me, its insanity.  I woke up this morning dreaming of giant worms eating through everything in our world.  I was fighting them, but my solutions were not effective.

I was going to share some other things, but I think now is not the time.

I do think I have finally tunneled down to the root feeling which makes me rigid and angry.  This is huge progress.  It anchors me in place, and this has advantages, but I think my task is to learn how to dance.

This whole social credit score thing makes me think of this scene from Terry Gilliam’s Brazil: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu0pv-hkNPc

In some indefinable way, totalitarianism and consumerism have been blended.  If you have a high credit score, you get the best hotels, the best plane seats, access to the best restaurants.  But if you hold out too long, you jeopardize your credit rating.

If you don’t want to lose your mall, just give the children of Mao everything they want.   If it’s your ass, just hand it over, then go see what’s on sale.  This literally seems to be where things are headed.

I wasn’t sure exactly what happened.  Here is the story: https://money.cnn.com/2018/02/28/technology/apple-icloud-data-china/index.html

Basically, KNOWING that the Chinese government is an oppressive fascist dictatorship which still operates gulags (Laogai) for dissidents, and which still reserves the right to kill, torture or imprison anyone for substantially any reason, Apple chose to basically make it easy for authorities to hack all the data on every iPhone in China.  That is my understanding.

Even Amnesty International, which has long been a left wing organization (and which, to be fair, has also done some really good work over the years) had this to say:

“The changes being made to iCloud are the latest indication that China’s repressive legal environment is making it difficult for Apple to uphold its commitments to user privacy and security,” Amnesty International warned in a statement Tuesday.

Self evidently, they were being overly kind.  This move makes it IMPOSSIBLE for Apple to uphold privacy commitments of any sort.

Presumably this is a concession to keep access to State provided slave labor, more or less.  It was the Apple factory, you may recall, where they had to install nets to keep people from killing themselves by jumping off the roof to escape their misery.

All of this should not be combined with Left wing politics, or moral hauteur.  This is what the Left calls “Capitalism” at its amoral worst.  It is the pursuit of a quick buck, at the expense of unnoticed and utterly unremediated human misery.  They do this shit, then vote for Obama or Hillary as recompense.  I call bullshit.  These are human turds.  

Ponder this: http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-18/china-social-credit-a-model-citizen-in-a-digital-dictatorship/10200278?pfmredir=sm