Month: August 2017
Microreligion
Demons
Imagine feeling fully awake but unable to open your eyes, and not even really wanting to open your eyes. I may have opened my eyes, actually, in the dream. I can’t remember. If I did, all I would have seen was a black mist. A malignant spirit enters the room and gets right in your face. It is a spirit of anger, of hurt, rage, and violence. It tries repeatedly to enter you. You can feel the surging energy striking you.
Well, I have learned to mock these things. I have told them “do your best to kill me”, and “fuck you”, and I have even learned to laugh at them. They don’t like that at all. I had a very odd conversation with one of them. I actually calmed it down a bit.
For my part I have always liked the metaphor of standing guard, or holding my place in the line. I can’t know what my destiny is. I can’t know what will happen to me. But I can say that I will do my part until the end.
These are interesting times. All this hate in the air is exhausting, and I wonder if even the originators of it will tire of it at some point. The seeming actual appearance of genuine racism was a shot in the arm for them, but not all of them can really be as stupid as they seem. It has to be a fringe which needs continual reinforcement.
For me, I think these dreams are good. These feel like actual spirit entities, but they could as well be manifestations of some complex, or some latent psychosis I have cast from my psyche which “wants” back in. Whatever they are, they are outside now–they may have been a part of my everyday life for a long time–and cannot get in. They are the spirit of fear, and I do not fear them very much, and soon will not fear them at all.
I feel better
All the hate in the air is hurting me, I think. Rather, as I become more aware, it affects me more.
It is surreal, is it not, that most of the hate in this country is being practiced by the very people who claim they oppose hate?
I can’t help but think of the other hypocrisy of the religious right of the 1980’s, who preached love and did arrogate to themselves the right to label other humans inferior and defective.
In some respects, in some outer morphological respects, the Communist Left (Communist being in their use merely a more honest word for “anti-fascist”) does resemble the so-called Moral Majority, but of course they are much, much worse.
They want to be able to tell all of us how to live our lives. They want into our bedrooms. They want into our board rooms. They want to hear everything we say and know everything we do, lest any of us commit thought crimes of any sort. They are utterly humorless, utterly remorseless, and continually angry.
It is not a pretty picture.
I can’t help but think, though, that even though they no doubt convinced many of the usual suspects that Charlottesville was a sign of the connection between white people, Trump, and violence, that most Americans were readily able to see it as a concocted event, their outrage as something much closer to gleeful joy, and their overarching aims something dark, sinister, awful, and terrible.
By their fruits shall you know them. The fruits of the Left are death, pain, murder, hunger, torture, mass imprisonment, and soul searing horror.
Pray for me
To be clear, I am doing increasingly well, but it is a difficult process, coming out of a deep freeze. I am realizing, particularly, how mean I have often been. I won’t be changing any of my political views, but I might get to a place where anger and hatred do not motivate me, and where I am capable of recognizing genuine opportunities for teaching–and in some cases learning–and remaining silent where all I am doing is making the world a more unpleasant place, which I have done often enough.
Snap, Crackle Pop
Again, it may be this lunar eclipse. It is a good time to clear out violent, warlike energy, which I have had in spades all my life. It makes it hard to think clearly. It is true I can think clearly on some topics, but not on myself, not on who I am, not on how people see me, and what opportunities for connection and happiness I am missing.
CoIntelPro
I read one of the leaders may have been an Obama fan until Trump’s election: https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/6tme1k/jason_kessler_organizer_of_unite_the_right/
True or not, I think the list of leaders needs to be gone through carefully, because I have a strong feeling that this was a concocted event, one intended to create exactly the sort of reaction it has enabled.
Clinging
On some level, enlightenment is a very basic, primitive process, that of self calming. Self calming is something all babies ideally learn to do, but which most I suspect never quite manage. They need a mother.
But when we speak of inner peace, is this not what we are talking about? Not getting upset by everything, and finding the courage to let go when we do?
I have had some griefs in recent days, and some mild betrayals. I don’t like to speak of my outer life, and I won’t here, but I will say that I have been let down many, many times, in many, many ways, by many, many people. For my part, I try to be loyal and true, but most people are much too preoccupied with their own worries to really register the lives of those around them.
As I ponder this, though, I feel that the logical response is not withdrawal and misanthropy, which are and long have been very natural to me.
What I feel is that with a mature spirit, you can be open to the gifts that God grants, without needing them. This makes the good a delight, and the bad merely expected. It is just life.
And I feel how ridiculous it would be to be mad at an apple tree which fails to bear fruit continually year round. Apple trees are very generous with their fruit, but only at the proper time. People are like this. Practices are like this. Ideas are even like this: understanding takes time to ripen and mature.
My life is not easy. It is lonely, and I am beset daily with large confusions and strong emotions.
But something is ripening within me, something I chose, something good, and something large.
A new Inquisition
The Left versus the decent majority
They want to use even a smidgeon of a hint of a whiff of such a movement to claim that ALL Americans are racist and all whites should kneel in shame.
There is no end to the demonic energy of these horrific human beings. It is tiring. I am surprised genuine Liberals–Trumps electoral base–have withstood their continual violence of all sorts so well so long without striking out.
We are, though, the people who make, deliver, and provide things. We are the sane ones, the ones with jobs, the ones able to resist ludicrous indoctrination in the worst possible anti-Humanistic ideas and assaults on common decency.
We can endure this, too. Trump is President. The people have spoken. And we will speak again in 2018, to punish Republican liars and traitors, who promised over and over and over to act like Republicans if they won office, and who have failed, and continue to fail, miserably.
No decent human being should ever be forced to deny supporting lunatics. This is the “have you stopped beating your wife yet” tactic. It is a horrible, evil strategy, one pursued by monomaniacal power mongers.